I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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