Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Did I show you my penis last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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