Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
