You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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