woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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