uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
