Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize