Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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