So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I understand Curling. That high.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
