I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
