Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
