Just took my morning after pill in the library
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
