Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
