Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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