If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
