Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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