I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
