My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
