wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
