Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
organizing the empties. That sober.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
