i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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