Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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