dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
