this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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