I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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