The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
