i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
