Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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