just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
