So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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