David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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