i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
