She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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