literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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