was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
