Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
