you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
