Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
