As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
nutella sex= disaster
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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