I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
