I just cut my nipple shaving
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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