batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just had sex on a roof
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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