I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
