I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
