So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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