I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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