He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
