Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
