I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
