I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
