the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
