i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just pee around me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
